It's Okay
by MilesAboveFantasy
Summary: Maya and Grace discuss the aftermath of Zoë's betrayal. Set between the Snowball and Christmas. Graya. One-shot.
**Title:** It's Okay

 **Characters:** Maya Matlin, Grace Cardinal

 **Summary:** Maya and Grace discuss the aftermath of Zoë's betrayal. Set between the Snowball and Christmas. Graya. One-shot.

* * *

 **It's Okay**

Maya brushed her fingers through her freshly washed, blonde hair and cleared her bed as she waited for Grace to arrive.

The winter holidays were in full swing. School had ended a week ago, and Maya was enjoying the break more than she could have dreamed possible. It was nice to have some time to relax and avoid the drama of school after Zig had brought their relationship crashing down around them.

The last week had been nothing but discussing music with Jonah and Grace. It was for the best that she and Zig had broken up. She hadn't wanted to admit it before, but Zig was holding her back. No, it wasn't that she was better than him, or that his hopes and dreams weren't valuable to her. It was just that Zig needed so much of her time to feel important that it was beginning to hurt their relationship and her career.

She vowed to not let a guy hold her back from her dreams ever again. First it had been Cam; he was great and all, but he was a poor, damaged soul. His death haunted her and held her back from her dreams, leading to the second guy to step in her way: Miles. Miles was great in his own way, and she hoped that they would be real friends one day. However, he was as much of a mess as Cam which was both the reason why she was with him, and the thing that prevented her from focusing on music. Miles was a self-admitted whirlwind of disaster.

Their relationship may have been chaotic, but they were both using one another in a way. Miles was using her as someone, anyone, to care about him in a way he didn't get at home, and she was using him as a way to help someone who needed help in the way she hadn't been able to see with Cam.

Compared to the two of them, Zig had been a godsend. He was supportive, loving, and at the very least wasn't a walking time bomb. He loved her and she loved him - both were probably still true; but, there was no escaping the fact that Zig was holding her back from her dreams.

It had been a long time coming. They had spring semester and the summer together. Fall semester had been great as well, though things were ever ticking down until their inevitable conflict. She knew it was coming yet tried to hide from it. Perhaps that is where they went wrong. Tristan had always admired how well they communicated, and got a good jovial-if-jealous laugh out of their whole consent phase earlier in the semester. But as the back of her mind told her they weren't going to work out, she let their communication collapse to a point where Zig felt paranoid.

No, it wasn't her fault that he cheated - not in the least. But it helped to know exactly where they went wrong. She may have faltered and put her dreams too far ahead of herself - in fact, she was told that in New York - but that faltering in communication in no way excused Zig's behavior. So she was done with him. She didn't even know how far they had gone - but if Zoë of all people felt shame for it, it was likely too far to ever forgive and forget.

So that's where she was now. It was probably best to avoid boys for the time being. She was barely 16; she had all the time in the world to find a guy. For now, music first. _Next T-Swift, here I come!_

That's why her whole winter break was dedicated to her music - short of the trip. Her family was traveling for the holidays, so her meeting with Grace tonight would be the last time that she was able to discuss things before heading off. She was looking forward to seeing Katie for the first time in nearly a year, but a part of her was also upset that she was being separated from her band.

Maya's steel-blue eyes popped to the door as she heard knuckles dancing along the wood to get her attention. She smiled as her expectations were met. Grace stood there stoically as usual with her black hair parted and enhanced by strands of blue that made Maya almost jealous as she wanted to run her fingers over them. Grace was so cool. Normally, Maya wouldn't care about artificially enhanced hair (her curls were proof enough) and a face full of piercings. But for Grace, they worked oh-so well.

Maya chuckled at her thoughts. "Hey gurl," she greeted as she waved Grace into her room. "I hope you got here safely, it's pretty cold out."

Grace nodded as she strode into Maya's room and thrust her backpack onto the floor near Maya's bed, and muttered a greeting of her own. "It was fine. The bus let's off right near your house."

Maya nodded in acknowledgement. "I can have my mom drive you home later, if you like?"

"If it gets late enough," Grace agreed as her eyes slowly danced around and explored the room.

"Oh, you haven't been in my room yet!" Maya exclaimed. "Feel at home," she suggested as she pat the bed next to her. "How has your week been other than our band text?"

Grace took a seat on the bed, and bounced a bit to get comfortable. "It's been fine. Quiet, but fine. Zoë texted me a couple of times, but I don't know what to say."

Maya nodded solemnly. "Are you going to tell me what you're fighting about? I'm not the happiest with her right now, but I'm willing to talk about her if you need to."

"Maybe later," Grace dismissed. "Let's work on the music first, and we can chat while waiting on the bus later."

"Sounds good!" Maya replied with something of a giggle as she flipped open her laptop. She ran her fingers along the track pad, and opened a folder labeled _My Career._ "So, we only have three songs, and we are going to need several more next term to progress. I figure if we add a new song every two weeks, we should have something approaching an album by the summer when we can make real headway into our career."

Grace nodded her agreement as her finger ran down the computer screen. "There are four songs here. What is this one?" she said pointing to the song that said 'untitled.'

Maya frowned. "Oh... that's a song that Jonah and I worked on in New York. It's incomplete and no-good, though he wanted to call it 'Yes.'" She was silent for a moment before saying the next thought on her mind. "It's a love song about Zig. No use anymore."

Grace's face joined Maya's in a frown. "You know you can't let that loser hold you back," she stated.

"I know, I know. It's not that. I just don't want to finish it. I'm just so done with Zig. So done with boys," Maya declared. "My sole goal is to make something of this band. We can be the next T-Swift, but better. I just know it!"

"I'm shocked you got over him so quickly. It really hurts to be betrayed by the one person that you really trust," Grace lamented.

Maya blinked. "Is that why you and Zoë are fighting?" she inquired.

"In a way. We had a _disagreement_ ," Grace said slowly. "And Zoë took things too far. She always does."

"Always," Maya agreed, and then grew quiet. "Can you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Grace replied.

"How you found out about Zig... I just know that all of this is somehow related. Zoë's betrayal towards you involved what she did with Zig?"

Grace nodded hesitantly.

"Did you love her?" Maya asked. "I always kind of assumed, but was waiting for the two of you to tell me."

"Love... no. But I cared about her. Deeply. We even tried to date... had sex once. But... I just couldn't do it. I tried, I really did. I care about her so much, but I don't love her the way she loves me," Grace said, and then paused for a moment to take a breath. "I know it hurt her. She's always complained about people not loving her the way she loved them. Miles, the first time that is, Torres, last year with Zig..." she paused as she realized her error, then shook off the guilt as Maya only nodded resolutely. "And now me. She's so lonely, and I tried, really tried. I love her as a friend, but..."

"You don't like girls?" Maya queried.

"It's not that," Grace replied. "I'm not big on labels. But when it came down to it, I loved Zoë as a friend and not a lover. Maybe I messed up. I lied and told her I didn't like girls... I told her I liked the first guy I saw. It was Zig..."

Maya's eyes widened. "Oh..." And then she placed a supportive hand on Grace. "I don't blame you. They made their choices. Zoë was just looking for love. She's a bit of a homewrecker, but I can't hate her. Zig on the other hand made his decision clearly..."

Then Grace laughed a laugh that was so lacking in mirth that it shook Maya to her core. "It wasn't even that. She didn't even love Zig. She had sex with him to record it, and then send the video to me. She wanted to hurt me. Like really hurt me. And she did. I have never been betrayed like that before... I have never let someone betray me like that. I let her get too close..."

Maya placed her hand on Grace's, and they looked into one another's eyes before she spoke. "Don't let one bad experience ruin things for you. Opening up can be hard - trust me, I chased Miles around for a year trying to make him open up - but don't let one... _bad person_ hurt you forever."

Grace nodded. "I know. I can trust you, can't I?" she asked, and they shared a smile. "And you did not just compare me to Hollingsworth!" Grace exclaimed in mock-horror.

They laughed, and then fell into a careful silence as Maya closed her laptop and slid it onto her night table. Maya inhaled and exhaled before throwing herself back on her bed. She spoke to the ceiling, but for Grace's ears to catch. "Can you tell me? About the video? Zig never mentioned it."

Grace fell back in bed beside Maya. "Zoë recorded a video of the two of them doing it. Zig didn't know about it. It was all Zoë's manipulation. Not that it makes what he did okay... he wasn't going to tell you, but Hunter was blackmailing him with it." They were quiet for a moment as they stared to the ceiling and absorbed the implications of what that meant. "On one hand, he never wanted to let you know. On the other, he realized he would rather sacrifice his relationship with you than to let you live every day in fear. I guess that's a good move, even if it's the obvious one."

Maya exhaled a breath she didn't know that she was holding as she blinked back silent tears. "Thanks. Thanks for telling me."

More silence.

"Do you think you'll forgive him?" Grace asked.

"I don't know. Probably, but I have no interest in dating again. I need to focus on my career. With you and Jonah," she said as her fingers slipped into Grace's. Grace's breath hitched at the contact. "And you?" Maya asked after a moment.

"I want to forgive her so bad," Grace replied. "But... it hurts so badly to know that someone I trusted with my life, literally, would do something so calculated to get revenge on me. It wasn't a mistake like Zig committed, it was outright malevolence."

"Zoë does that to people," Maya agreed as her hand tightened in Grace's in support. "You remember, I'm sure, what she did last year."

Maya felt Grace nod as her movement rustled the sheets. "I was intimately involved with most of Zoë's drama last year," Grace murmured. "Dammit," she hissed causing Maya to jerk at the uncharacteristic anger in Grace's voice.

"I thought I knew her so well. And maybe I did, and just over looked everything. I thought I liked her, I really did. But I can't even look at her now."

Then Grace let out a long huff of air as the two girls absorbed the conversation so far. They both thought they knew someone. They both thought that they could trust someone. And then they were betrayed.

"At least we have each other," Maya said after some time. "You've been one of my best friends ever since we met in the Rubber Room. Let's focus on the positives. Each other, our friendship, and the career we are going to have together one day." Maya took a minute to observe the thoughts in Grace's eyes. "You can open up to me, you know? I've always known that you like to keep things to yourself, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

Grace nodded. "I've always been afraid to get close to people ever since I got sick. I felt so alone, and I would rather make myself alone rather than be left alone. I'll tell you the rest some other time, if that's cool."

"Yes, of course!" Maya exclaimed as she sat up to her knees.

Grace continued lying where she was. "Can I tell you something else?" she asked hesitantly.

"Of course," Maya replied as she turned her eyes to Grace.

"I like you..." Grace intoned. "In the way I couldn't make myself like Zoë."

They were quiet for a while as they listened to one another breathe. Maya searched Grace's eyes as they stared at one another.

"I know," Maya said. "I'm glad... to have someone like you care about me. That's why you were so into Zig and me..."

"Yes," Grace confirmed. "I liked you back then, and I knew that Zig liked you. You deserved someone who could care about you, and be with you longer than I could, so I helped set the two of you up. I'm sorry for how things turned out."

Maya shook her head. "Don't be. You did what you thought was best... but, what did you mean by Zig being able to be with me longer than you could?" she asked carefully.

Grace sighed. "I'll tell you the details some other time, but I'm unlikely to live until 40. You deserve someone to share your life with, not to abandon you halfway through."

Shock tore through Maya, but she held back her anguish and tears. "Don't say that, don't. You deserve someone to care about you too."

And then Maya kissed Grace. It was a short kiss. It was longer than a peck, but was not a full on make out. It was just a tentative kiss as they explored what it meant. They had seen their fair share of friendship ruined with a kiss, but they have also seen some of the most beautiful things imaginable between two people birthed in one.

When they broke their kiss, they took some times to stare into one another's eyes for what felt like the thousandth time for that night.

"Are we sure about this?" Grace asked

Maya nodded. "I care about you. I'm not sure how this is going to go, but I'm okay with that. Is this okay with you?"

"Yeah, Maya," Grace replied and their lips met again in a peck. "It's okay."

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Well, I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!

Do note, that I don't hate Zig or anything. This is just their point of view on Zig. They were a bit nicer to Zoë than I would be, but they both care about her and feel her pain. Personally, I'd put 70% of the blame on Zoë, but they are more angry at Zig because they know that he knows better. Also, Maya is only just beginning to understand where Zaya went wrong. They were the communication ship of the show, but then their communication stopped.


End file.
